The 5-Second Discipline Fix

By Diane Debrovner From:

If you want your kid to wash his hands, pick up his trains, or give his sister's tiara back, don't ask -- tell.

The Friendly Approach to Discipline

Let's face it: If you had a dollar for every time you wanted your child to do something, paying the bills would be painless. You need him to listen up so you can make it through the day -- and keep your home from becoming a total disaster zone. Yet, like most parents, you probably don't want to be a nag (or a drill sergeant), so you constantly ask your child to cooperate. You figure he'll be more likely to pick up his towel off the bathroom floor or sit down at the dinner table if you come across as friendly rather than bossy. After all, you'll catch more flies with honey, right?

It seems like a reasonable approach, especially since that's the way that we typically talk to adults. "Being polite in our society requires making indirect requests, such as 'Can you pass the salt?'" explains developmental psychologist Linda Acredolo, PhD, a Parents advisor and coauthor of Baby Hearts. "If you interpret this question literally -- as young children always do -- it isn't actually a request for salt, it's a question of whether or not the person is capable of passing the salt." (Of course, you'd never expect your dinner companion to simply answer, "Yes.") So when you ask your child, "Would you like to take a bath now?" he thinks that you're actually offering him the opportunity to say no -- even though you really meant it as a polite way to make a direct command. The result? "You get upset and your child gets upset -- and confused," says Dr. Acredolo.

Helmet or No Helmet on a tricycle?

My Husband and I differ on this issue. - Shari M
Our son just turned 4 and suddenly took an interest in his tricycle. It's an antique one (circa 1948) that my Dad refurbished that all us kids used and then all the grandkids. It is a little tall and somewhat "tippier" than a modern tricycle that has a lower center of gravity. My husband was mad when I asked him if he'd put a helmet on him when our son rode it all the way down to and around the park. He thought I was insane for suggesting it "Cos a tricycle doesn't go very fast" I said it isn't about fast - it's about the distance from sitting on the thing to the ground which if you fall wrong he can crack his head on the concrete which is the whole point of a helmet. I'm a little mad that he is making this decision cos it would seem "not tough" or "uncool" for his BOY on a tricycle. What do you ladies think? FYI: He doesn't have a problem with helmets on bicycles.
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A little about me: I'm 47 and a SAHM. My only child is a 4 yr old joyful little boy!! It took me a long time to have this baby and I stayed at home so I wouldn't miss one second with him. I'm working on several creative business ideas so I can have a business at home and stay a Full Time Mom - even when he is in school!

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